20. Female. South Korean. Live in Chicago.
An Insomniac, a nerdfighter, a friend, a traveller, a college student, a future teacher.
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Before somebody can make a change to their health and their happiness, their brain has already constructed a picture of reality in which change is possible or not. Basically, this predicts whether or not they’ll be able to make that change.
Some people see a world in which they’re only their genes and their environment; so they can watch a ton of TED Talks, they can read a ton of books, but they won’t actually incorporate any of those new changes into their lives…
A lot of frustration comes from us being irrationally optimistic about either the goal that we’re creating or the speed and the time it will take to get there. I have a great little cartoon that someone sent me on Twitter: A rhinoceros is on a treadmill, and it’s sweating and running as fast as it possibly can, and it’s looking up at this poster of this beautiful unicorn. So it’s trying to run as fast as it can to be a unicorn, and inherently it’s creating greater levels of frustration, because it’s not a unicorn, it’s a rhinoceros, and it should be the best rhinoceros that it can be."
From the TED Blog’s Q&A with TEDxBloomington speaker Shawn Achor, a psychologist whose work focus on helping people use positive psychology to be happier and more effective at work.tedx)
I want you to promise me something. And I don’t care if you don’t know me, like me, or like making promises in general. Just do it.
Promise me that you will keep on living, even when everything is futile.
I want you to forgive yourself for the things that you’ve done. I want you to forgive yourself for the things that you should have done. Forgive yourself, even when you don’t think you deserve it.
I want you to love yourself for all that you are and all that you are not. I want you to love yourself, even if no one else does. You do not need the validation from another human being in order to know your worth. You do not need others to love you in order to show you that you are worth loving. The love that you develop for yourself is more than enough. Love yourself enough to stand on your own, without depending on the love of anyone else.
So stop injecting drugs to avoid reality. Stop with the pills and the cutting. Stop with the thoughts on jumping off a building and hanging yourself. Stop hating yourself and regretting about the past. Stop with the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘should have beens.’ And don’t you dare pull that trigger. Stop.
Stop and love yourself. It is the least you can do for you."