20. Female. South Korean. Live in Chicago.
An Insomniac, a nerdfighter, a friend, a traveller, a college student, a future teacher.
Feel free to send me a message :)
Ask me anything
- (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
- Audre Lorde (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
1. Be honest with yourself and admit that you’re putting off stuff that really needs to be done.
2. Try and figure out why you’re procrastinating. Is it because you don’t like it, it creates anxiety, you don’t understand it, it feels overwhelming, you’re disorganised …?
3. Decide to break the habit of procrastination by deliberately rewarding yourself for doing something you’d rather not do.
4. Make a pact with a friend –where you deliberately and regularly encourage each other, and hold each other accountable.
5. Sit down and think – in detail – about all the likely consequences of not doing what needs to be done. Be brutally honest, and try and picture what you’re life is going to look like 6 months, a year and five years from now ( if you continue to procrastinate).
6. Decide to break large tasks down into smaller, more achievable tasks, and then tackle these smaller tasks one at a time.
7. Recognise your progress, and affirm and praise yourself for making these changes – and doing things differently, even though it’s hard.
1. Set realistic and achievable goals. These should be something that appeal to you as it’s hard to go after another person’s goals.
2. Think of meaningful ways to reward your progress.
3. Expect to have set-backs and to encounter obstacles. When that happens, focus your mind and renew your determination. Refuse to give up.
4. Decide to be a positive thinker. Refuse to stop believing in yourself. When you feel discouraged, decide that you’ll fight on.
5. Share your goals with others, and seek encouragement when you’re finding it hard to keep going on your own.
6. Practice saying no to other options and distractions that may seem appealing – but distract you from achieving your goal.
7. Post inspirational quotes in places you can see to encourage you to work to achieve your goal.
8. Practice self care so you don’t burn out. You need to pace yourself if you are going to reach your goal.
1. The few things that aren’t going right. – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have.
2. Trying to label everyone and everything. – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them.
3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks. – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom.
4. Wasting time on the wrong people. – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. No matter how much you care some people just won’t care back. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does.
5. Old wounds and grudges. – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.
6. Superficial judgments. –Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it.
7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control. – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget about the countless lovable moments you’ve spent together.
8. Showing a lack of self-respect. – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself. Choose to be your own best friend.
Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/12/14/9-things-you-need-to-chill-out-about/ (Abridged)
- Audre Lorde (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
- Rick Warren (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
Mental health means striking a balance in all aspects of your life. Here are some suggestions to help you find and keep your balance.
Build healthy self-esteem: Self-esteem is more than just seeing your good qualities. It is being able to see all your abilities and weaknesses together, accepting them, and doing your best with what you have.
Build confidence: Take a good look at your good points. What do you do best? Where are your skills and interest areas? How would a friend describe you? Now, look at your weak points. What do you have difficulty doing? What things make you feel frustrated? Take a look at this list. Remember that all of us have our positive and negative sides. We let our strengths shine, and we build on our weak points to help us mature and grow.
Accept compliments: Many of us confuse having a realistic view of our good points with conceit. We have trouble accepting kindness from others. We often shrug off a compliment with a, “Yes, but…” and put ourselves down. The next time someone compliments you, say, “Thank you! I’m glad you think so.” Then think about other compliments you have had, and how good they made you feel.
Make friends who count: Friends help you understand that you are not alone. They help you by sharing your “ups” and “downs”, and you in turn help them. Together, you and your friends share life’s challenges and celebrate life’s joys.
Get involved: Being involved in things that really matter to us provide a great feeling of purpose and satisfaction. You should always remember that you make a difference, no matter how big or small your efforts.
Take a five-minute vacation: Each day, set aside five minutes for a mental health break. Close your door or go into another room, and day-dream about a place, person or idea, or think about nothing at all! You will feel like you have been on a mini-vacation.
Cope with changes that affect you: It would be nice to “live happily ever after”, but there will always be challenges in our lives. Dealing with these unexpected (and often unwanted) changes can be stressful, so we need to be flexible and learn ways to cope.
Deal with your emotions: We are all challenged to find safe and constructive ways to express and share our feelings of anger, sadness, joy and fear. Your ways of experiencing and expressing emotions are unique because you are unique.
Have a spirituality to call your own: Learn to be at peace with yourself. Get to know who you are: what makes you really happy, what you are really passionate about. Learn to balance what you are able to change about yourself with what you cannot change. Get to know and trust your inner self.
Spend quality time with yourself: Set aside time to be totally alone. Do a breathing exercise – try counting your breaths from one to four, then start at one again. Or do something you love to do – whatever works for you!
- Haruki Murakami (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
You can prepare yourself to succeed in your studies by …
- Taking responsibility for yourself. Recognize that in order to succeed you need to make decisions about your priorities, your time, and your resources.
- Centering yourself around your values and principles. Don’t let friends and acquaintances dictate what you consider important.
- Putting first things first. Follow up on the priorities you have set for yourself, and don’t let others, or other interests, distract you from your goals.
- Discovering your key productivity periods and places. Morning, afternoon, or evening? Find spaces where you can be the most focused and productive. Prioritize these for your most difficult study challenges.
- Looking for better solutions to problems. For example, if you don’t understand the course material, don’t just re-read it. Try something else! Consult with the professor, a tutor, an academic advisor, a classmate, a study group, or your school’s study skills center.
- Looking to continually challenge yourself.
1. Make sure you read and understand the instructions: This is absolutely crucial. A lot of students are keen to rush ahead and so they quickly skim over the exam instructions. Then, later, they discover that they did it wrong! For example, do you have to do every question on the exam paper, or do you only have to choose a certain number? Is there a penalty for guessing – so is it better not to guess? (For example, because you lose an extra point for each answer you get wrong).
2. Read through the exam and divide up your time accordingly: For example, make a note of the number of questions there are, and notice what all the different questions are worth. This isn’t wasted time as reading through the questions will start to activate your memory. Decide which questions will be easy, and which will take more time, and mentally allocate your time accordingly. Also, allow some time at the end to review what you have written, and do some corrections if you think you’ve made an error.
3. Work through each question systematically: Slowly read through the questions, and underline key words. Also, check to see if there are several parts to any question. Make sure you’ve fully understood what you’re being asked to do, then try and plan your answer before you start to write.
4. Attempt every question: It’s better to do something than nothing at all. You might get a few marks for just thinking along the right lines. If you’re running out of time, then resort to bullets points. You’ll cover more by doing that than writing complete sentences.
5. What of your mind goes blank? Take a few, slow deep breaths and try your best not to panic. It’s important not to let your anxiety take over. Take control of your thinking by reassuring yourself that is only temporary - and soon will pass. Repeat true, positive thoughts like “you’ve worked hard and are ready”, and listen to your breathing – as it starts to slow down again.
6. Review what you’ve written and make corrections if they’re needed: Leave some time to go over your answers at the end – but don’t change what you’ve written unless you’re sure it’s wrong. Also, look out for blank spaces, for questions you have missed, and turn over the last page – in case there’s something at the end!
1. Prepare well in advance: Lack of preparation is the most commonly cited reason for exam anxiety. To deal with this, devise a study schedule that gets you working long before your exams start. That allows some time for any setbacks, roadblocks or unexpected obstacles. It also helps to combat the need to cram – which is known to add more stress during exams.
2. Develop good sleeping habits: This is one of the best ways to stay on top of stress. Develop a routine where you get sufficient sleep. This will help your brain to function at its optimum.
3. Keep caffeine and sugar at similar levels during pre-exam and exam times: Our bodies get used to certain chemical levels. If you suddenly decrease this, you may suffer withdrawal. In contrast, if you suddenly increase it, you might find it hard to focus.
4. Practise breathing techniques: These will help you to calm yourself if you start to feel anxious when you’re taking an exam. You’ll be able to apply them as soon as you feel stressed.
5. If possible, don’t study the night before: Or at least, only do the minimum amount, or briefly review the main concepts and themes. Then try to relax and get a good night’s sleep.
6. Expect to do your best: Your thoughts affect your feelings – and how anxious you are. If you keep repeating that you think you’re going to fail, it will undermine your confidence and faith in yourself. Also, it will make it hard to study and remember what you’re doing, as your thinking is consumed by “how bad it’s going to be”. In contrast, it you stay positive and believe in yourself, your mind will be free to focus on your work, and you’re likely to do better as you think you will succeed!
Ask yourself the following questions …
1. Do you feel fulfilled and good about yourself when you’re pursuing this activity or job?
2. Is it something you would do, and invest time in, for free? If you had plenty of money, is it the one thing you would do?
3. Do you find time disappears when you’re spending time on this? You can’t believe how quickly the hours just seem to pass?
4. Is it a subject that you talk about, or think of constantly?
5. When life is really busy do you still find time for this? And when you have no time – it’s the thing you long for most?
- Sarah Dessen (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
- Ed Sheeran (via onlinecounsellingcollege)